Monday, September 13, 2010 @ 10:31 PM
haiz. i really have no idea what i am going to do with my life. sometimes i really set my mind into things that are not worth spending time on. and i neglect things that are super important to me at that moment. like studies. now i am suffering from the fact that i am really damn dumb. so dumb to know the importance of studies. i know it, but i did not take action towards it. how dumb. i should have been studying when i was sec1 instead of spending time with friends climb the drains, going out shopping, stealing and many other stupid factors that contributors to it. i really hate myself. i hate myself for making mistake when i am in primary school, for making the same mistake in secondary school. and more new mistakes to. i hate my life. my life is just a piece of shit. i hate it. people may come to me saying "cheer up bro" but do they really mean it? i reckoned. but what is there for me to do? i just need to put in more effort into not falling into the darker pit in my life. hopefully i can do it.
love sucks. i can't believe i am saying this. but, the feeling is back:( when i read the letters from you, my feeling for you all returned back to me even though i know i can't be with you anymore. i just hate this freaking feeling. thats why i hate my life.
friendship also, i found out that i have lots and lots of problem cause of my friends. i really want to just solve all stupid problems i have with them. but it is just too hard to solve it. i really want us to be back to how we used to be last time. writing this is like just saying things out. you won't even bother coming to my blog. if you did, i guess its called miracles. i really want us to be like last time. talking into the late night. talking about funny things. talking about our past. it just so memorable talking to you. but those time are long forgotten by you. i guess. but to let you know, i remember everything you said to me.
i really hope that all the friends i have now will never leave me. although i am leaving peicai and peicai and leaving me, i will always remember all of you. all the graduated seniors and the current juniors i have.
before ending, i want to say.
life is full of colours and enjoyment, learn to use the colours given to you to make a wonder memory. cause i did build an unforgettable journey of my life in secondary school. and i am glad i was able to know so many people in peicai.
