since wednesday till now... i have been thinking if i am worth it to be in... i have no idea... and this is suppose to be private and confidential... and therefore i can't tell anyone... thinking... really scared if i might the the one who is not going to make it... 2 down 2 more to go... sounds like i am killing someone like that... but i am not okay... i am just thinking... if i am the other 2 to go down how?! i really don't want that to happen... can't she just put all 10 of us in?we might just prove her wrong that we can do it... maybe... i really don't want any of us to get kicked out... i really don't know wad will my reaction be if i get in or get kicked out... i need someone to help me!

band is going to get silver? thats wad wanling said... i really want that to happen... if we really want to get silver or above... i must work very hard... can you guys image, overture part I mallet percussion break down?! ya... then our silver would become a COP... or when we play flight of the piasa, timpani break down at solo part?! why must i get the hardest to play part? feeling the tension now la...

going to be a whole new person very soon...but i don't want to change because i have that! i really don't want to be like all the past badge... ok... shall just stop here... byebye...